WAILS & WHISPERS BETWEEN WORLDS:
3-Day Grief Tending Retreat in San Diego
April 3-5 2026
with Laurence Cole, Lisa Littlebird, Amy Ma and Aislinn Kerckhaert
"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them."
— Francis Weller
What is Grief Tending?
Grief tending is a communal, embodied way of acknowledging and expressing the sorrow we carry in personal, ancestral, and collective. It honors the natural intelligence of grief as a form of praise for what we've loved and lost, and a pathway back into connection.
Many traditional cultures, including the Dagara people of Burkina Faso, consider grief rituals to be the threads that weave a village together. They create space for us to come back into right relationship with ourselves, one another, and the living world.
In this retreat, we are honored to carry the Dagara traditions shared with the West through elders Malidoma and Sobonfu Some), the soulful teachings of Francis Weller, the ceremonial grief songs and elder mentorship of Laurence Cole, ancestral remembering, and the collective wisdom of community. Together, we create safe, reverent containers where grief can be felt, expressed, and transformed.
About our Retreat
In this weekend, communal grief rituals are about coming together as a group to be witnessed in our sorrow. By listening to others, we learn to articulate what often feels inexpressible. In this space, we aim to destigmatize grief, metabolize it, and move away from the idea that grief is pathological. This is a chance to co-regulate our nervous systems in the village and be reminded that we are not alone.
We will gather to honor our grief and make space for its many expressions. Together, we will sing, move, pray, and remember our shared humanity through ritual. Our grief tending work will also focus on healing our relationship with the Earth in this time of ecological crisis offering our tears and songs as prayers for reconnection.
Join us as we honor the sacredness of grief and gratitude through talking circles, singing, poetry, movement, sacred listening, ceremony, sharing food, and creative expression. At the heart of our time together, we will engage in a sacred ritual inspired by the work of Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some of the Dagara people of West Africa.
Grieving in community is an ancient way of tending to the heart. It gives us a place to reach toward each other for the strength, presence, and courage needed to feel what has long been waiting beneath the surface. In sharing space, our own voices often find shape through hearing others. What once felt unnameable begins to soften and move. Here, grief is treated as something sacred, welcomed and held. Together, we create the conditions for co-regulation, release, and the deep remembering that we belong to something larger than ourselves.
This space an invitation to drop into the body, into the breath, into whatever truth lives inside you. Grief may arrive as silence, trembling, song, rage, or tears. It may come as stillness, overwhelm, or a slow, quiet ache. However it shows up, it is welcome. There is room here for all of it.
Our ritual draws from earth-based ways of knowing guided by drum and song, by the rhythms of nature, and by the unseen presence of ancestors and guides. This is a space of reconnection to soul, to the Earth, and to the ancient human practice of grieving together.
What to Expect
Grief ritual from the Dagara Tribe lineage
Altar tending and earth offerings
Group Kontomblé Divination and Ancestral Guidance
Communal song, movement, and council
Fire ceremony, silence, prayer, and reflection
Meals & Lodging:
Bring your own food and camp gear.
Car or tent camping is recommended if your commute is more than 20 minutes.
No RVs please. There are also local Airbnb available.
Please bring:
A water bottle & mug and own utensils/bowl/plate
1–2 snacks to share with the group (for a communal spread)
A potluck for Sunday dinner
Retreat Schedule
Friday
5:00 pm Arrival and Settle in
6:00 pm Introduction
Saturday
9:00 am: Arrival and settle in
9:30 am our day begins:
Official Ritual Opening
Kontomblé Divination
Group Work
Lunch - bring your own sack lunch
Dinner - bring your own sack dinner (make it a light dinner - our deeper grief/shrine work arrives after dinner)
Please bring snacks for the snack table to share with the community throughout the day
Sunday
9:00 am: Arrival and Settle In
9:30 am: Group Work, Grief Ritual
Lunch - bring your own sack lunch
Please bring snacks for the snack table to share with the community throughout the day
4:00 pm Closing Circle
5:00 pm Shared Potluck Dinner
Our Prayer
We grieve because we love.
We gather in ritual for the remembrance of who we are.
Together, we create a field of deep witnessing and shared humanity where grief and gratitude stretch us wide enough to live more fully.
Join us!
Sliding Scale Pricing is offered for this event.
